just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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