"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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