her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
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