i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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