Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
