so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
