you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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