i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
