Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
