we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
