Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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