Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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