I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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