Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
