i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
