He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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