Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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