Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
