we have pet lesbian snakes
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize