dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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