1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
