Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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