how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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