girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
