Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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