i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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