You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
