He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
