My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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