I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
