At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
