Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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