I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
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