am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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