My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize