i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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