Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
