I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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