i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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