Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
This is the high leading the old right now
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
