so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
