So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
