if you like me you must not know who I am
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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