she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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