she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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