He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We left an ass print on the piano.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
