Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize