I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
