i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
