i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize