Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
