i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
