Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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