I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
