all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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