i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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