I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
