You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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