I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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