you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
