Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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