Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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