just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
