So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Boobs speak an international language.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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